Monday is Memorial Day. This year, I’d like to pause our typical blog topics to honor the U.S. service members and families whose names became part of our national story by way of the current war.

This NYT article profiles the 13 U.S. individuals who had been killed or wounded as of April 8th. On top of all of the lives lost in this conflict, my heart goes out to these individuals’ families and friends, who will be carrying grief this weekend and always. Obviously, each person was unique and irreplaceable. I have been particularly drawn in by the stories of these three:

– Sergeant Noah L. Tietjens, 42 – survived by his wife, Shelly, and teenage son, Dylan, in Bellevue, Nebraska. They had all taken up martial arts together and Noah dreamed of opening his own studio one day. The NYT says: “Sergeant Tietjens was also a doting father, making sure to cheer on Dylan at his black belt ceremony. When Dylan accepted a special award that night, he asked his father to come onstage so he could dedicate it to him.”

– Sergeant Declan J. Coady, 20 – survived by his parents, three siblings, grandparents and extended family, he would have turned 21 on May 5th. As an Eagle Scout, Declan was deeply committed to serving his community. He earned 56 merit badges! He was a college sophomore at Drake University in Iowa – studying cybersecurity and computer science – and while he could have avoided deploying under an ROTC contract, he chose to stay with his unit. I’ve been thinking a lot about Declan as I watch my own sons work toward their merit badges and imagine all of the possibilities that lie ahead.

– Sergeant First Class Nicole M. Amor, 39 – survived by her husband, Joey, and her 18-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter. This one has stayed with me: Nicole lived in a nearby Minnesota town, had a child close in age to mine, and resembles my cousin, who is also a service member and mom. Nicole’s oldest is graduating high school this spring. He had Senior Night earlier this month, and it sure looks like she would have been proud. Her husband continues to share personal tributes to her as well. This excerpt from a recent remembrance has lingered with me:

Every second we don’t get her

for that moment.

Another piece gone.

And no one feels that but us.

We take a day to remember them.

Flags. Beer. Words. Vacations. Silence.

Then everyone goes back to living like nothing is still breaking somewhere.

As if no one is still buried in the lost family that can never be again.

Joey’s words offer a reminder that behind each name are loved ones still living with a profound absence every single day. If you find yourself moved this weekend, you might consider taking a quiet moment to hold these families in your thoughts or looking into one of the many organizations that offer ongoing support to Gold Star families.

Have a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend. Our blogs will be back on Tuesday.

– Liz Dunshee